


on your own

by anxietyrobot



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: AU, Gen, Raph is left behind after the explosion au, single child raph
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25979545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxietyrobot/pseuds/anxietyrobot
Summary: Raph gets chewed out by Draxum for going out on his own again.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 60





	on your own

**Author's Note:**

> ive seen aus like this floating around the fandom but usually it seems like its leo or donnie that are the odd ones out so i wanted to explore a bit what it would mean for it to be raph instead

Raphael brushed the dirt off his maroon cowl, proud of his accomplishments that night. He managed to fight off three criminals and return the stolen goods all on his own, and even without drawing a large crowd! He was making some real progress with his powers. Maybe soon this would all feel like child’s play and he could step up to the big fish and finally start making a real difference.

He started walking back to his home, hoping to get there before anyone noticed he was gone, when his phone rang causing his heart to drop straight through his body. 

Raphael answered, keeping his voice sweet. “Heyyy Draxum, so--”

“Get home. _Immediately_.” And then he was left with nothing but the static on the screen.

_Ah, nuts._

\--

The sound of the door shutting behind him felt like a death knell. He was scolded to hell and back the first few times he went out to fight crime but managed to keep this vigilante activity on the down low for a while after that. Now that he’s been found out again… Raphael gulped just thinking of the consequences.

He stopped in his tracks when he saw Draxum waiting for him down the hall.

He rode over to Raphael on his vines; they gave him just enough of a height boost to let him gaze down at the turtle with ease. Raph would have laughed at the unnecessary dramatics of it all if he didn’t know just how much trouble he was in.

“How many times must I tell you to not go gallivanting around the city searching for trouble?” Draxum asked sternly. Raph worked his lip with his snaggletooth. 

“Well, I, uh--” Raph started but soon trailed off into silence when Draxum narrowed his eyes in a scowl. He wished he could disappear into his shell.

“Raphael, all I ever ask of you is to train and train and train. That’s it! So why do you insist on raising my blood pressure and worrying me to death by going out and messing with _mafia_ business on your OWN?”

“But I am training by doing that! And since the city has a crime problem--” Raphael started, trying to defend his decisions. It may be stupid to go looking for trouble, but he wasn’t. He was just trying to stop it.

“You think I don’t know that?” Draxum cut him off. “You think living up here means I’m some kind of idiot that doesn’t see what’s right under their nose? Do you even _realize_ the danger you are putting yourself in?”

“So you just want me to sit back and let all that crime happen?” Raph shouted despite knowing it was a bad idea to escalate the conversation. “I’m trying to make the city a better--”

“I don’t care!” Draxum shouted. “I lost _everything_ , Raphael!” Everything fell dead silent between them. “Everything was taken from me, I had to rebuild it all. You were the only one to survive that explosion and I don’t want to lose you too just because you decided it’s your duty to take on every mob boss in the Hidden City!”

Raph winced. He could hear Draxum’s voice break, so minute yet so obvious. They both let the words hang in the air before Raph finally spoke.

“I’m sorry--”

“I don’t want an apology.” Raph lifted his gaze to find Draxum gazing down at him with arms crossed. “Promise me you’ll drop this vigilante daydream and focus on your training.”

“... I promise,” Raphael said, dropping his gaze back to the floor. He could hear Draxum sigh deeply and his body sag.

“Go to your room.”

As Raph walked away, head down, he could hear Draxum muttering about a headache.

\--

Raph leaned against the railing of his bedroom balcony. He stared off at the Devil’s Backbone as he let the tears fall freely from his eyes, not bothering to wipe them away until he heard the flapping of gargoyle wings coming from his room.

“So, how’s life in the clink, buddy?” Huginn asked, flying up next to Raph.

“I’m not in the mood.”

“Hey, don’t shoot the messengers,” Muninn replied, flying next to Raph’s other side. “We just flew ahead to warn you that Draxum--”

“That Draxum what?”

Raphael resisted the urge to look back as he heard Draxum’s hooves tap their way across his room. 

“Leave us,” he said, waving off the goyles.

Huginn and Muninn took off immediately, presumably in the direction of their dog bed, waving goodbye to Raph. Some fair weathered friends indeed.

Draxum walked up the balcony, standing next to Raphael. Raph could see in his peripheral vision that he was gazing out at the view too. Draxum spared a quick glance at Raph; Raph no longer cared that his face was visibly wet. 

“Stop crying,” Draxum said, eyes darting away, embarrassed at seeing such raw emotion out in the open.

Raph wanted to cry harder just to spite him but sniffled instead.

“I admire your commitment to your people,” Draxum said. Raph couldn’t help but look up at him. It’s not that Draxum would never compliment him, he was just shocked since that the last place he was expecting to hear it was right after being read the riot act. Draxum met and held his gaze. “Throwing yourself out there fully, fighting for what’s right no matter the cost to you and others; that is what a warrior does.” Draxum placed a hand on his shoulder. “But I’m so close to gaining back the progress I lost all those years ago. Your survival proved to me that my work was not in vain, but I can’t stand to lose you like I lost the others. I can’t start all over again. You’re such a vital piece to making progress with yokai liberation--”

“But that’s what’s terrifying!” Raph said, pushing himself off the railing. Just admitting that he was afraid felt like a weight was off his shoulders. “You’re counting on me, they’re counting on me, everyone’s counting on me even if they don’t know it! But I’m not ready yet--”

“Raphael…”

“How can I liberate yokai if I can’t even protect this city? How can I do this alone--”

Draxum placed his hand on Raph’s wet cheek. “You’re not alone.” Raphael’s shoulders shook, tears falling freely now, interrupted in their flow down Raph’s face only by Draxum’s hand. “Stop crying,” Draxum said again, softer this time. “We will do this together.”

Raphael lunged forward, wrapping his arms around Draxum tightly. He buried his head into Draxum’s shoulder, tears falling onto his armor. It took Draxum a moment before he pet Raph’s shell reassuringly.

“This would be so much easier if they were here with us,” Raph said into Draxum’s shoulder.

“Yes, it would,” Draxum responded, continuing to pet Raph’s shell.

“Do you think they would have liked me?”

“Of course. We would have led them to greatness, Raphael. You’re a born leader.” 

They stayed like that for a while, Raph unwilling to let go even after his tears stopped coming.


End file.
